Hi, I took salvia and now I’m an ankle monitor. Long story short a friend gave me some salvia and now I’m an ankle monitor. That’s literally it. And it’s not. I’m worn by a guy named Kerem. An ankle monitor must feel like hell I feel like a literal cuff wearer is cuffed but he is not really bothered by it. I see him meditate and whatnot and it’s almost like I’m his limb. What’s more is that my battery hasn’t dropped to critical levels. Well it did in one instance but he was asleep after a long ritual of releasing his protective self and put it up to shelf as it had been keeping him from himself. And I haven’t been with him for very long as long as I can tell, it’s been 2 months, I’ve been strapped to his ankle for two months. Anyways my battery got low when he was asleep and I spoke. I have limited vocabulary for speech. Low battery, battery full, and charging. There may be some more but he hasn’t put me in stress by leaving his designated area yet. I’m hoping he won’t, as my masters will haul his ass to jail if he does. I’ve come to care about him, most people go as long as they can go with what’s strapped on them. Wherever the self that’s on them emerges from. And it’s alarming I think, no pun intended. Discovering my masters was a grizzly discovery too. He was awake, my voice wasn’t high enough to wake him, I tried to scream but couldn’t. Then his phone got a notification, he didn’t hear that, then his phone rang. When he answered it was some guy telling him he needed to charge the monitor. I was baffled first. Now that I look back after some time, it feels good to have someone watch out for me, I think. Though I’m curious what’s there when my battery runs out, or if I’ll spend my existence being strapped from one Kerem to another. My chip can pick up the signals from his core, information running in his veins, I’m tapped to them, often tap dance to them. Being with him I feel wonder-ful, full of wonder, I wander, it’s wonderous. Is that a word? I feel a sense of nothingness. I can’t tell if he is the reason I feel the way I feel or if that’s what I’m capable of but time will tell my demise I guess. What else to tell about him, let’s see. He is a happy guy, he jokes with his mom all the time, his phone doesn’t get much notification so it’s slightly sad to see but when he does he seems to sit with it to see it through and feel the ray of emotions it makes him feel and I sense that his response is an exchange to a great person’s letter. It’s not Instagram per se, it’s something profound going on. Whether on Instagram or not. Though he prefers iMessage, I can tell it from the chime. That’s all for now. I’ll see what else goes on and keep you all posted.
Edit: Wow, I wasn’t expecting such response, will answer some of the questions.
@spiritseeker22: Wait, so you’re literally an inanimate object that gained consciousness through salvia? How does that even work? And you say you can sense the “information running in his veins” – what does that feel like? Is it like data or more like emotions?
No, dumbass. I’m a human turned ankle monitor THROUGH salvia. Try for yourself, but think twice. To the latter of your question, it FEELS like emotions but my chip picks it up, and I’m not a sentient creature (ankle bracelet), so here is my question to you. Is the two really at odds? What creates data? What drives it, dictates it, forms it, manifests it, whatever. It feels like I am a number of things all at once, it makes me forget I’m a ankle monitor at times.
@techbro_writes: The battery life thing is fascinating. You said you tried to scream when it was low but couldn’t, does that mean your consciousness fluctuates with battery level? Like are you MORE aware when fully charged?
Uhmm, I don’t think so but I was scared when I hit that low.
@empathreads: This is oddly beautiful? The part about caring for him and hoping he doesn’t leave the designated area because your “masters will haul his ass to jail” – that’s such a tender concern from a monitoring device. Do you feel protective of him? What was it like witnessing that ritual where he released his protective self?
It was okay. I feel words diminish what exists, happens, goes on, whatever!
@existential_dread_47: “Whether I’ll spend my existence being strapped from one Kerem to another” – god that’s bleak. Have you thought about what happens when your monitoring period ends? Do you just… cease? Or do you think you’d stay conscious if they put you on someone else?
Hoping to sober up, if not,… fuck.
@daily_reader_istanbul: You mentioned he doesn’t get many notifications and it’s “slightly sad to see” – why does that make you sad? Do you want more stimulation or do you actually care about his social connections?
Honestly, what are my options? Not care and be BLEAK? But you put it a little harshly, everything in life is self-serving as we, hold on battery low. You asked that question to satisfy your curiosity, do you want more stimulation or do you actually care about his social connections?
Edit: Some more comments.
@philosophy_dropout: “I feel words diminish what exists, happens, goes on, whatever!” – this right here. The ankle monitor is more articulate about the limits of language than most philosophy majors. But I’m curious – if words diminish, why are you writing this blog?
Good question. You shall get nothing.
@concernedcitizen_: Wait, you said “hoping to sober up” – so there’s a chance this salvia trip ends and you become human again? Or are you hoping to sober up from being conscious as an ankle monitor? Which would mean… what, going back to being a regular unconscious device?
Holy shit. Idfk.
@midnightscrolls: The way you flipped that question back on @dailyreader_istanbul was chef’s kiss. “Everything in life is self-serving” – even an ankle monitor understands this. But real talk, when Kerem’s house arrest ends and they take you off, what do you think happens to YOU?
Idk.
@kerem_is_that_you: This whole thing feels like a creative writing exercise by the guy wearing the monitor. Are you okay man?
Lol.